Forbidden Shadows
by Tuathail
Summary: Kel goes missing after losing her memory due to being hit during a battle. Scared, confused and with no idea who to trust, how will she get home? Will she know what 'home' is? KD
1. Prologue and climax of story

Forbidden Shadows

Summary: Scanran war. In a battle, Kel loses her memory, her horse drags her out of harm's way, and she goes missing. Confused, scared and with nobody to trust, how will Kel get home? And how will she remember what home is? K/D

PROLOGUE::

She'd never seen so many people mounted and in armor before. They all carried a shield and a weapon of some sort, whether it be a mace or war hammer or battleaxe. Against them, she felt small and timid, despite their forces being twice as big. Supposedly. She didn't feel like much.

Raoul had gone over the formation of this battle the night before. She was one of the knights on the frontline, with two companies of the own behind them to hold the line if the enemy broke through the knights.

Trumpets sounded on both sides as they dived into battle, blindly slashing and blocking, thinking little but the mindless will to survive. If she had time, she would have laughed as the irony of it all. This was what she thought she wanted—to fight in a real war. She just didn't expect it to be so tremendous. There was hardly time to think about that anyway, as she dodged and struck.

She ducked and just missed being hit by a large war hammer, as Peachblossom reached out and plucked the bearer off his mount. Her glaive came around and up, neatly taking three people off their horses. Someone else tried to swing a mace at her. She brought up her shield and as an instinct, cut up with her glaive. The mace's owner suddenly missed the arm he was holding it with.

It occurred to Kel that Raoul was being ambushed, not very far from her. Cursing and swerving, she managed to move the thirty or so feet between her and her former knight-master. Raising her weapon in a war-cry which fitted the moment, she cut her way into the Scanrans.

Raoul turned around to intercept the attack of a heavy 2-handed sword, only to find the blue-glinting steel of a familiar weapon perturbing from his attacker's belly. He looked up to grin at Kel and mouth the word thanks, before turning back to his other enemies. The Scanrans have definitely learnt to bombard the commander.

A yell brought Kel to attention. She turned her horse a sharp right, out of the down swinging of a scimitar. She was blindly cutting and blocking, getting through this battle without been giving time to think about it. Later—a long time later, she was grateful. She would probably be too sickened to keep going if she was thinking about it at the time.

"Kel!" she heard Neal's warning a beat too late. She looked up and swung her glaive up to intercept a strike aimed at her head. The glaive made contact and knocked the heavier weapon out of the way, only to bring the would-be-fatal blow around to knock her on the ribcage. The impact crushed at least half her rib bones, as well as knocking her off her horse, falling headfirst. Before the lady knight had any time to react, the force of the blow smashed her into the ground, her head banging onto the hard, dry dirt with a clearly audible thud, knocking her unconscious. The last thing she registered was Neal's cry of anguish and a desperate attempt to reach her before her vision and soon her mind faded into blackness.

Sir Nealan of Queenscove tugged vainly on the reins of his horse, failing to reach his friend in her time of need, lost amongst a sea of people. In despair, a new thought surfaced: The Scanrans have to pay. With renewed energy, he began mauling the enemy like his life depended on it.

Lord Raoul of Goldenlake fought off attackers, at the same time watching Keladry take a harsh blow to her side. He was filled with worry as he watched the girl fall from her horse, so much that he didn't notice the sword heading towards his arm until it struck.

Alanna the Lioness was on auto-pilot as she blocked and lunged, doing almost the same amount of damage herself as a whole company. This gave her time to notice other things, such as when Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan fell from her horse, her helm slipping from her head and a pool of blood gathering below her. Knowing that she wouldn't reach her and really shouldn't try, the King's Champion turned, biting her bottom lip so tight that it drew blood, unable to bring herself to watch Kel's fate.

Tobeis Boon, Lady Kel's serving boy, watched the battle from afar. There was no way a horse-boy would be allowed to go near the real battle. Still, he saw when his lady fell off her horse. Saw the way she still dangled from her stirrups. Tobe was smart, in his own way. And he had a plan.

Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle was holding his own against the Scanrans, as well as commanding his men. That is, until he saw his friend and now lover Kel fall from her horse, hitting the ground hard.

He had his orders. His brain, the sensible part, knew that he should ignore Kel, that she was no more than another fallen knight in a gruesome battle. But his heart disagreed strongly. It ached for Kel, hurt twice as much as if Dom himself was falling from his horse. Against his better judgment, Dom turned his horse and urged it towards Kel, fighting through a sea of people.

"Sergeant Domitan!" Lord Raoul's voice broadcasted clearly over the crowd, even as he favoured his furiously bleeding arm, "what are you doing?"

Dom looked towards Raoul but ignored his question, knowing that he'd pay later for this insolence. Because of his position in the battle, it was considerable easier for him to try to reach Kel. In the heat of things, he simply didn't consider that he was needed where he was, commanding his men.

"Masbolle!" Raoul's voice rang across the battlefield. "Stop right now!" His voice was commanding, that some of that command sank through. Dom stopped and turned to look at his knight commander. Raoul met his eyes firmly until Dom finally submitted and looked away. He returned to his place in the line, blood and hope draining from his heart like a sieve.

From high up in the air, Veralidaine Sarrasri saw the unmistakable brunette fall, her glaive escaping her relaxed fingers and rolling away, giving off blinding glints of blue. She saw Sir Neal and Lady Alanna, neither able to reach her through the sea of people. She saw Lord Raoul receive a bad cut on his arm and dropping his sword. She saw Sergeant Dom, ordered back to his place amongst the rest of his company. The Wildmage, in golden eagle form, shrieked a warning soon lost to the clamoring of armour and weapons.

Something else caught her eye. Kel wasn't lying on the ground—she was dangling dangerously from her stirrups, her left foot stuck in them. Thanking all the gods for what would usually have been a tragedy, Daine looked around at the horses about to trample the young knight. She screamed one single thought at them, the best way she knew how, and told them to go carefully around the knight. Only half the horses showed signs of hearing her at all. She had expected that. When in battle, the fear and adrenaline prevented horses from being able to hear and understand her, unless they've dealt with her before.

Peachblossom was panicking. His mistress-he finally thought of her as that now, these days-has fallen off him. Madly, he kicked his hooves in an attempt to fend off any attacks to her prone body. The adrenaline and fear made it hard to think. Kel was okay, for a two-legger. He felt the need to protect her.

Then he heard that voice in his head again. The voice of the girl who was two-legger and People, touched with the hand of the animal god. With it, he heard the voice of the Boy who wasn't only Boy, but also a herd-brother. As one, the voices urged him to bolt towards the forest, to take his mistress into the woods beyond and away from the battle. It made sense.

With a loud neigh, Peachblossom snorted and ran for the forest, kicking other horses out of the way and dragging a very still brunette behind him.


	2. Dreaming of Dreamers

Forbidden Shadows

Chapter One:: Dreaming of Dreamers

W00t! I updated so quickly! Aren't you proud of me? and, the prologue was confusing because it's just the climax of the story. And it's meant to be like the part in the season 5 finale of buffy where buffy does something and everyone's doing different things but they all turn to look at buffy. It's like that but with kel.

_Five Weeks Ago_

Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, the Protector of the Small, mounted her horse and looked back down once more at the group gathered before her. "You'll be alright without me?" She wanted to be sure.

"For the millionth time, Mother, yes." The speaker was Fanche, with a slightly irritated but mainly teasing smile. Kel saluted her mockingly and turned her horse. "We'll see you in three days, then."

"We" referred to the group of knights and soldiers gathered at the front gate of New Hope, about to embark on a journey to Mastiff and make their monthly report to Lord Wyldon. Once again, Kel was acting the worrier.

_Milady never changes_, Tobe thought almost happily as he hoisted himself into Peachblossom's saddles. _Then again, neither do I._

The gates of New Hope opened, and Kel set off with her warriors. It wasn't a very long way to Lord Wyldon, but once again Kel had to endure Neal, who was missing his wife terribly.

Ever since his wedding celebrations that Midwinter, Neal had been talking non-stop about his lover Yuki, back in the capital after announcing that she wasn't going to get involved in the war. Today, Neal was complaining about not getting a break for at least three months, and how she's probably have forgotten him by the time he's back at Corus.

Kel cut him off halfway through his complaints. "For the Goddess's sake, Neal, complain elsewhere, when I'm not around." She told him. To the astonishment of her and maybe even Neal himself, he listened to her. The trip continued in silence.

A few hours, two cast horseshoes and one lost report later, the company finally arrived at Fort Mastiff. Kel sounded the trumpet, announcing that they were friends, and received the customary reply.

As the group passed through the well-guarded gate, Kel sighed again with envy at the amount of people Lord Wyldon had under his command. She was almost used to it now, but it still bugged her every time she saw the more trained army and was reminded of how pathetic her own was.

They reached the middle of Mastiff, and Owen rushed up to them. He hadn't changed a bit since the last time Kel saw him, and it was hard to see him as the boy about to take his Ordeal of Knighthood in a few months. He looked more like a bubbly teenager, going off to a new adventure.

"Kel! Neal!" he greeted with enthusiasm, though Kel noticed that he kept strictly to his manners, "It's good to see you again."

Their horses were taken to the stables and they were hustled to the guests quarters. "My lord says he will be seeing you shortly." Owen informed them, "but he asked to see Lady Kel right now, in his headquarters."

Kel frowned slightly, fair eyebrows coming to rest an inch from each other. "What does my lord need me for?" she asked Owen, even as he lead her out of her rooms and into the corridor.

"I don't know," Owen admitted, sounding slightly worried, "he hasn't mentioned to me."

Kel reached Wyldon's quarters and knocked politely on the door. "Come in." Wyldon said from inside.

"You asked for me, my lord?" She enquired.

"Take a seat," he bid her, while pouring her a glass of apple juice, "how are you, Lady Knight?"

"I'm well, sir," she replied guardedly, her eyes never once leaving his face, "and yourself?"

"I'm good too." They sat in an awkward silence for a while before Wyldon finally looked up from his empty cup into Kel's eyes. "I won't beat around the bush," he told her, "what's happening at the moment is the war's finally picking up again after so many months of Maggur recruiting. They still haven't lost their edge, even without the killing machines, and we need every fighting hand we can. I'm sending all the knights in this region to the forts, and some of the soldiers, too."

"Sir?" She prodded, not sure of his meaning.

"However, I'm met with a rather difficult situation with you," he explained, "I know you're useful where you are. So useful, that I don't know if I dare to take you away from your post and give it to someone who might neglect it. I also know your skills with a sword and with a glaive. I know that you'll probably be needed where the battle is. So I wanted to ask you what you think."

So this is what Wyldon had been thinking. Kel found herself confused about how she felt. She'd thought she would give anything to be away from the refugees and in the thick of the real fighting, but the truth was that she'd learnt to love her position at New Hope, and it would be hard to leave.

And if Wyldon was sending such a large proportion of knights to the frontline, that meant less soldiers for refugee camps. Her people will need her.

"I don't know, my lord," she finally replied, "I'll do whatever you decide for me."

He nodded slowly. "Lord Raoul rides for Steadfast with his squads and the knights I'm sending there right now in five days. Let me know if you decide to go with them at least a day before time."

"Yes, my lord." Kel bowed herself out of the room, so much more on her mind than before.

She somehow made her way back to her rooms, even lost within her own thoughts and utterly confused. She had wanted real fighting, hadn't she? So why did she feel so bad? Why did she not want to desert her people?

Because they're her people now. She felt as if they were part of her. She wanted to stay with them, but she also wanted to see real battle. That's why she had become a knight in the first place. She wanted so badly to have both, but you can't have your cake and eat it, too.

_And I'll see Dom at Steadfast_, a voice inside her said. She blinked. What was that supposed to mean? True, she missed Dom, but not enough to base the whole decision on him.

Five days later, Kel mounted her mount at sunrise along with the rest of Lord Raoul's men. She was careful not to ride near Neal.

She knew she would miss New Hope. But she's miss it in between beating back Scanrans and combat training. Maybe, just maybe, it'd be worth it.

And anyway, she'd see Dom again.


	3. Hearts Aloft

**Hearts aloft**

* * *

Kel rode into Ford Steadfast, marveling at the magnificence it radiated. Like Mastiff, Steadfast was well guarded and littered with grim-faced soldiers. She knew she would be glad to be part of a team like this.

A foot soldier ran up to greet the new arrivals. "My Lord Raoul invites you all to dismount. Your mounts will be seen to. He says he will be with you shortly." He bowed and left them.

"Lord Wyldon wasn't bluffing when he said anyone who could carry a sword was being sent here," Neal muttered. Kel jumped, not having heard him come up behind her. Now that she looked, however, she saw that the fort was swarming with people.

As they surveyed their new home, Lord Raoul came up to the crowd assembled in the courtyard, wearing only comfortable breeches and a tan shirt. Everyone bowed to the huge knight, and Kel grinned at her former knight-master. Raoul smiled back, before starting to address everyone else.

"For those of you who have been here under my command before, you already know what to do," his voice, clear and loud as always, broadcasted itself across the field. "If you haven't, stay behind to be addressed." Most of the people left to get settled, leaving behind the New Hope people and some fresh soldiers from the south, what little could be spared.

"Welcome to Steadfast," Lord Raoul said to them in his usual easy-going manner, hiding most of the battle-wariness that Kel knew was there. "I would tell you to enjoy your time here, but we all know that that'd be a lie. Timetables and other schedules will be on your desks once you get settled, the bell goes at six every morning, and one last thing—never assume you're safe." He nodded briskly to them and left.

Kel looked at Neal, smiling faintly. "My lord's changed." She remarked, "I think being so cheerful is going to be bad for his health."

Neal peered curiously at his friend, unable to tell if she was being serious. "Let's get settled." He said instead.

The new arrivals found their respective quarters and settled in. After unpacking and setting out her lucky Yamani cats- she brought those with her, wherever she went- Kel changed into a fresh shirt and a less worn pair of breeches. It was almost midday, but she still had time for a quick jog around, both to get acquainted and for fitness.

Kel tightened her boots, wrinkling her nose a little as strands of brown tickled her face. Her hair was getting a little too long for her liking. She found a hair tie and used it to keep her cropped locks in order at the back of her neck.

Properly dressed, Kel left her rooms at a quick walk, pacing until she felt comfortable to start jogging. As her body fell into the accustomed routine of breathe in, breathe out, she allowed her mind to wander and ponder over different things. In fact, she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't see the blue-eyed, grinning obstacle until she bumped right into it.

"Oof!" the Lady Knight gasped upon impact, and muttered an apology. About to jog around the object blocking her path, she found a strong and familiar hand grip her arm and pull her to face him.

Domitan of Masbolle grinned t her, his blue eyes shining with mirth and his amusement barely hidden. He mock-bowed. "Good day to you too, Protector of the Small."

Kel could feel a blush rising in her cheeks. What sort of an idiot was she, anyway? To cover up her embarrassment, she ordered sharply, "Don't call me that, you know I hate it."

"All right," he fell into step beside her. "what are you thinking about, to be so distracted?"

"Oh, things," when he turned to look at her, she shrugged. "You know, things. How have you been?"

Dom looked Kel over as he answered her question. Gods, she's beautiful, and the only person who doesn't realize it is herself. Okay, he admitted to himself, she's not as beautiful as the queen, for example, or princess Shinko. But she had the grace of a heroine, and the air of a fighter. And in that moment, Sergeant Domitan saw his long-time friend as a real woman.

He shook his head slightly, to clear it. _What was that about_?

"Sorry?" He realized she'd just asked him a question.

"I asked, do you want to start heading back so we won't be late for midday?" She smiled at him, "and you thought I was distracted?"

Goddess, he could look good anywhere, Kel thought to herself as Dom's face was lit up in a boyish grin. His blue eyes were sapphires against his perfect complexion and dark hair. She felt her insides tingle again, the kind of tingle that used to happen for Neal, and for Cleon. She realized that she was falling in love with Dom again, but couldn't help it. He was so easy to love –charming, funny, smart.

The two of them made their way to the mess hall for their midday meal. Settling down at a table, they didn't realize that they were alone until Kel had finished her meal in a comfortable silence. Feeling slightly awkward at the realization, she excused herself to Dom and left the hall.

Dom stared at the disappearing figure of the brunette he had come to care so much for, and wondered if she liked him in return. Girls were so hard to figure out. Perhaps he would ask Neal, sometime.

His thoughts wandered to the countless crushes of Neal's, and his bad interpretations of hints.

No, way.

)O(


	4. From fear to eternity

**From fear to eternity**

Thanks reviewers!!

**AN: I said before, this is going to be KD, also the summary says it's KD, and every chapter I drop hints of KD.This is obviously KD! Also, this whole story happened before the prologue, which would be why I wrote "five weeks ago" in the beginning of chapter two.**

Sorry. -blinks-.

**All this is set five weeks before the prologue! And the story IS KD!!**

* * *

During the next two weeks, Kel's life fell into a sort of pattern. It was nice to have a pattern for a while, even in the heat of battle. There were small skirmishes and little raids, but few battles were fought through those dozen days.

On that day, Kel was walking back to her rooms after supper when her path was again blocked by Dom. She looked up and exchanged a greeting with him, mentally complaining that it was unfair for him to look so nice. She had decided a few days back that she definitely had a crush on him, but had no idea if the blue-eyed sergeant felt the same way. Men were so hard to read.

"Hi," Dom said as he plopped into the seat opposite Kel, while watching the brunette's face for anything other than simple friendship. If any signs emerged, Dom couldn't see it. Why do girls have to be so hard to read?

"Walk with me?" She offered. He took her up on it gladly, and they made their way back from the mess hall together, talking about the first time Dom had seen Kel, with her horse rearing and about to throw her off him. He didn't mention that he'd seen the fighter in her even back then. The hero that she was going to be.

Kel almost sighed with lust, and thanked all the gods for her years in the Yamani Islands. If it wasn't for her "Lump" face, she was sure she would be sounding like a lovesick girl. Even with it, she only just managed to keep her voice even as they talked.

The atmosphere was getting positively awkward. Kel obviously had something on her mind, though he had no idea what. It occurred to him that it was possible she liked him back, but the sensitive part of his mind told him not to jump to too many conclusions.

Kel's breath caught in her throat as she caught Dom's eyes and they both stopped, in the middle of the footpath, simply staring at each other. Had she not been distracted by his gaze, she would have been thankful of the night that hid them, and the lack of other people on the same path.

Dom felt their mutual attraction in his very bones. It was thundering, a pounding in his head that refused to go away, pleasant yet disturbing.

Timidly, purposefully, he leant down slightly and pressed his lips to hers.

Kel had been kissed before. Cleon had done it, and she had liked the transfer of sweetness. But his kisses didn't hold a candle to the eruption of fireworks Dom's kisses brought forward, or the waterfall of lust that connected them with gentle dignity.

Equaling his carefulness, she kissed him back.

There they stood, lips pressed together, for a few calm, graceful seconds, during which everything else stopped, and all was forgotten. But all good things have to end, as they regretfully pulled apart.

When Dom looked up again, his face was bright red. "I've...I have to go...to..." he stammered.

"Really? Me, me too." Kel's Yamani training stopped her from blushing furiously, and she didn't stammer much, but her cheeks did become quite rosy. They muttered a quiet goodbye and bolted in opposite directions.

Kel rushed into her room and bolted the door behind her. She turned to lean against the door, breathing deeply and quietly, trying to process everything that was happening. Her brain refused to work, and when they did, it was to remember the gentle feel of Dom's lips against hers.

"Lady?" It was Tobe. She jumped, having almost forgotten the boy's existence. She shook her head slightly, and he took the signal to walk away as her thoughts wandered back to Dom.

Dom, whose legs had decidedly carried him to Neal for advice, with his mind none-the-wiser until he reached his cousin. Neal took one look at him, frowned, and sat him into an armchair.

"What's wrong?" He enquired.

"Nothing," Dom muttered, distracted.

"Nonsense," the younger man waved it away, "you didn't even call me Meathead. What's wrong?" He asked again.

"I kissed Kel." He blurted.

"Oh." Whatever Neal was expecting, this was not it. "Oh," he said again, then, regaining his posture, "And?"

"She kissed me back."

"Then?"

"We...ran." He was sounding more and more like an idiot by the second.

"Define ran." Neal brushed his brown hair back with his fingers, eyes crinkled in amusement.

"Ran, meaning we both turned, made excuses, and bolted in opposite directions."

Neal snorted. His face then fell into a thoughtful expression. "Kel's a great woman. She deserves a good man," he looked his cousin over and grinned mockingly. "Snatch her before she finds one."

Dom shoved him lightly. They, at least were back to the kind of usual teasing. And Kel?

He didn't have a good answer for that. He wished he did.

)O(


	5. Float

**Float**

* * *

_Lunge. Block. Swing. Lunge. Pivot. _Kel increased her speed, her wooden practice glaive a brown blur, concentrating on nothing other than her dawn exercises. _Block. Swing. Thrust. Dom._

Dom?

She sighed and dropped her weapon in defeat. It seemed that nothing could take her mind off that one kiss. As much as she might not like to admit it, the kiss meant a lot to her, and she wanted badly to know if it meant something to him, too.

Even as she thought this, she realized that it could never happen. As a sergeant, he would not be allowed to marry, and she would never ask him to quit the Own. She shook her head slightly at her own foolishness. It was too early to think about something like marriage.

But isn't it more foolish to pursue something that will never be?

Kel sighed. Unanswered questions plagued her mind, and she felt her Yamani mask slide on to cover her confusion, though there was nobody else in the room. She felt, for the first time in Goddess knows how long, that she would explode if she didn't have someone to talk to.

As if reading her thoughts, Neal appeared at the half-open door almost by magic. "Kel?"

"Neal," she got up. "How's everything?"

"I think I should be asking _you_ that question, Lady Knight," Neal pointed out.

"Yeah?" He was not helping her confusion. "Why would that be?"

"Look in the mirror." He advised, green eyes kind and slightly worried.

Kel obeyed, and sighed. She was wearing her best, most meaningless Yamani mask without even realizing it. Even then, a sense of concern drilled its way through her hazel eyes. Someone else might think she was only mildly concerned with something miniscule, but Neal knew her well enough to know that something was really wrong.

"What's wrong?"

"I kissed Dom. Well, he kissed me, but I kissed him back." The words felt so odd on her lips, as if someone else was speaking them.

Neal bit his lip slightly. He had heard the story from his cousin, but wanted to hear his friend's point of view. The young knight was willing to help his best friend in any way he can.

Kel quickly retold last night's events, her story echoing Dom's in uncanny detail. The two even thought alike. When she was finished, she looked at him with her large hazel eyes, and for what seems the first time he saw uncertainty in them.

"What should I do, Neal?"

"What do you want to do, Kel?"

The question caught her by surprise. She'd spent too long on what she should do, what she could do, that she hadn't thought to ask what she wanted to do. "I don't know," she finally answered, "I know I like him, but...." She turned to stare Neal in the eye. Neal, who had been thinking of a witty remark to respond to that with, was shocked by the amount of emotion seeping through her Yamani mask, until she abandoned the blank face completely.

"I don't know what to do," Kel confessed, her voice low. She hated herself in that moment, with her emotions open and pouring out, completely vulnerable. "I know—I'm pretty sure—that I like him. I think I know that he also likes me. But he's in the Own, and you know that they can't marry. It'd be stupid to get into a relationship now, when we both know nothing would come of it."

"That's usually the case," Neal nodded slowly, "but...noblemen court all the time, even knowing that the ones they court won't be the ones they marry. In the end, they'll be able to rejoice that it happened, not mourn that it finished. Think about it." He nodded briskly and left.

Kel stared nimbly after him. Not only was Dom confusing her, Neal seemed to have matured. She sighed. It gets better all the time.

Hadn't she loved Cleon, even when they knew it would never work out? Hadn't they tried? It didn't work out, but that did not mean nothing ever would.

"Kel?" A hesitant male stood at her door. She glanced up, and her heart caught in her throat. It was true—she was very attracted to Dom. "We need to talk. May I come in?"

"Sure," she got up. Dom was more serious than she remember him. The boyish grin was replaced by a cautious smile, and the twinkle in his eye was more alert than flirtatious. The air between them was awkward, though she felt a new kind of connection she didn't know they had. She wondered if he felt the same way.

"Kel, I..." He took a deep breath. "I meant it when I kissed you. Ever since I've known you, I've admired you on some level, for your courage and your heart. You've been a great friend to me, and I think I feel something more."

Kel swallowed a gasp. Those were the words she'd been hoping to hear for more than four years. She'd always hoped, sometimes even suspected, but now, she knew. He returned her feelings.

"Dom..." She took a deep breath. It was hard to say. "I've always had feelings for you. But you know that it'll never work."

"It won't work if we don't try," he whispered, blue eyes full of promise, "and I want us to."

She leant in, and he pecked her lips lightly. "Me too."

It's still all right to dream, right?

)O(

AN: Um. That was mushy and pointless.


	6. Show

**Show**

* * *

Over the next two weeks, she noticed small changes in the pattern she had fallen into. She still rose before dawn to practice her glaive, and then to train with the other soldiers on unarmed combat, followed by sword practice. During the day, she still read, talked with her friends, rode, or helped with the work to be done in the fort. Now, evenings were spent, quietly, with Dom, or her other friends. She found it a nice change to talk to Dom, who was both fun and sophisticated at the same time. There were three more skirmishes during those two weeks, but none were extremely serious and the Tortallans came out victorious in all of them.

That particular afternoon, Kel was brushing down Peachblossom after a ride with Neal and Merric. They were chatting idly when horn calls sounded from the walls of the fort. Instinctively all three looked up, and relaxed again as the sound for "friends" was heard.

"Wonder who it is this time?" Kel turned towards the gates, questioning.

"Look," Neal jerked his head towards the flagpoles as an answer. The others did, curious.

Two flags flew up above the grounds. One was a silver crown and sword against a deep blue field- the Tortallan flag. The other was the emblem of the King's Own. As they watched, a third new flag climbed the poles. When it reached the top, the wind caught it and unfurled it, revealing a gold cat on a red background.

Neal sighed with mock-happiness. Extremely dry, he commented, "Joy. The Lioness is here. Excuse me while I go hide in my room."

Kel laughed and shoved him a little, turning back towards the gate to see the other lady knight ride through the gate on her black-and-gold mare, followed by roughly fifty men. She held up her hand and stopped the others, then urged her own horse forwards at a slower pace.

Reaching the flagpoles, she dismounted and started leading her horse towards the stables. They three younger knights all bowed as she reached them, although Neal, as Kel noticed, looked less than courteous about it.

"Hello," she greeted as she came closer. On foot, the Lioness was a full head, if not more, shorter than Kel. "Keladry, it's good to see you again." Kel smiled as Alanna turned to Neal, her expression turning into one of mock-distain. "Don't give me that look, Neal, I don't like seeing you again either." They all laughed, and the potential tension in the air eased.

The lady led her horse into the stables, and then made her way back towards the commander's quarters.

"Alanna!" Raoul's voice cut clearly across the clearing. The Lioness grinned and walked briskly to her old friend, clasping hands with him affectionately. "Raoul."

"Heading up to Fraserlund?" Raoul scanned the assembled men, a slight frown flickering across his face, "Fifty men? I though Vanget wanted..."

"He did want me to take a hundred, but that'd leave the coast even less protected than it was before. Fraserlund has as many people as it needs, in my opinion. All he ever thinks about is protecting the border, whilst the coast and refugee camps don't get nearly enough armies."

Raoul gave a lopsided grin. "So you made your own call, despite Jon's express orders to let the general decide on placement and division."

Alanna made a face. "It was necessary," she protested, a little defensive, "even if Jon is going to have my head for this."

"He won't hurt you. Much," Raoul teased, then beckoned, "come and I'll fill you in on what's been happening."

As the lady knight followed the knight commander, Kel's eyes were drawn to a certain couple sneaking away for a welcome in a lover's fashion. The Wildmage had been overjoyed when she heard that Numair would be arriving that day, but overjoyed didn't begin to describe how she looked just then.

"Magelet, I've missed you," Numair muttered as he pulled Daine aside.

"You too," she planted a kiss on his cheek, smiling at him lovingly, "every time I see you go off on a mission I worry about you."

"As if I don't worry about you more?" Numair teased, twitching her nose.

"How goes all on the coast?" she wanted to know.

"Same-same," the black robe answered, "though if my information is correct, there will be serious trouble here soon."

Daine looked up at him, worried. She didn't like the sound of that. "Trouble?"

"Speaking of that, I'd better go speak with Raoul," he said, then smiled ruefully at the disappointed expression on her face, "we'll see each other again soon enough."

She smiled at him. Only after he'd turned around did she let it fall off her face, to reveal her worry that something may be seriously wrong.

)O(

Kel sat between Dom and Daine, listening to Raoul as he explained their latest situation. From Numair's information, the Scanrans were planning a full-out attack the day after. And this, as Raoul stressed, was not just a skirmish; it was most likely going to be a huge battle.

Kel listened. She was calm, as always, but she couldn't shake a very bad feeling. She knew it was dumb, and most likely wrong. She knew Neal would laugh if he thought she was trying to foretell. But she couldn't help feeling very, very bad about the upcoming battle.

The weirdest thing was, she had absolutely no reason for feeling this way.

)O(

**Okay people, this is the part where the prologue fits in. So, if you're confused when reading the next chapter, go back and read the prologue. It'll help.**


	7. Twice As Long As Eternity

**Twice as long as eternity**

**AN**: Okay people, this is where the prologue fits in. Between last chapter and this one. So if you're confused, go back, read the prologue.

**)O(**

The first thing she registered was pain. Intense pain, a constant throbbing within and all around her head. Her eyesight began to clear, the pain dulling slightly, becoming but a blanket of dizziness enveloping her head. She rubbed it absently, displeased but not very surprised at the fact that it was wet and thick with blood. By that time, she'd awoken enough to wonder where she was. The thought froze her.

_Where am I?_

She didn't know. As she tried to search her memory, it occurred to her...

Who_ am I?_

She stumbled to her feet and fell again, her head spinning from what seemed an impossible task. The second time she stood, she was able to lean against a large tree. Noticing, a presence behind her, puffing warm, concerned air onto her neck. Turning, she saw a strawberry gelding, concern etched into its long, courageous face.

"Who are you?" she asked it, before shaking her head over her own silliness at talking to a horse. The motion made her head hurt, so she stopped. "Who am _I_?" she wanted to know.

The horse butted her gently and neighed, impatience etched over its face as if it understood the girl. Patting it absently, she wondered what she would do next.

There was a little clearing nearby, and in the clearing was a small pond. Leading the horse towards the water, she began to wash away the blood that was drying at her neck. Moving it slowly and diligently, she found it bruised, stiff, but not broken. The blood had come from a severe nosebleed, and a deep cut on her right shoulder. As she began moving about and cleaning up, she found herself wondering over and over again, _who am I?_ but still not getting an answer.

She was oddly calm for someone who couldn't remember who she was, but she knew that panicking wasn't going to help anyone. How she knew that was another matter. After cleaning, she settled down near the lake and simply sat back, squinting from the afternoon sun and wondering what she was going to do next.

Her mind seemed to be functioning normally. Strange thoughts swam through it, slipping out of grip the instant she tried to catch them. Instincts screamed at her, telling her what to do, how to act, but she didn't know where they came from. Having discovered a sword hanging from her belt before, she did a few pattern dances with it. What a pattern dance _was_, she didn't know. Neither did she know where she had learnt it, or how she had come across the sword.

Her memories were there, but they slipped out of reach every time she tried grabbing for them, until disappearing entirely. Random thoughts and names slithered in and out of her mind, distant yet important.

She sighed with frustration, confused and not knowing what to do. If only she could _remember_. Then, maybe she could try to get home.

**)O(**

"How many casualties do we have?" Raoul's dark eyes were serious. He favoured a bandaged left arm, in a sling and about to bleed through its bandaging, having insisted that the healers save their strength for more serious injuries.

"Fifty-six seriously wounded," Captain Flyndan answered, equally grim. "And we lost twenty-one men." He seemed to be holding something back. Raoul cocked an eyebrow at him, a silent question as to what _wasn't_ said.

"Twenty-one men," Flyn said quietly, "and one woman."

Raoul's heart dropped as his worst fear was confirmed. "Kel? She's...dead?" It didn't seem possible.

"Not _confirmed_ dead," The captain hurried to say. "Missing, in fact."

The Knight Commander's expression was one of confusion and fear. "Missing? How could she be _missing_?"

"She hasn't returned with the other knights, and her body hasn't turned up either," Flyn explained.

Raoul rested his head in his hands, his thoughts travelling back to what he had seen of Kel's fate. "Who were the knights nearest Kel? Sir Neal? Alanna?"

"I've already asked. Sir Nealan said he saw her fall off her horse, but nothing more. The Lioness is still unconscious."

"Wait, slow down," he ordered. "Alanna's injured?"

"The Lioness took a heavy wound to her thigh near the end of the battle. It's nothing too serious, but the healers say she's suffering from blood loss and will be abed for a while."

"Let me guess," Raoul's mouth turned into a grim line. "She insisted that she was perfectly fine and fought until the end."

Flyndan nodded, knowing the King's Champion as well as Raoul did. Raoul sighed at his old friend's never-changing stubbornness, and turned back to the problem at hand. A flicker of a frown crossed his face. "Have you asked the Wildmage about Kel?"

"I don't know. Would you like me to get her?"

"That would be great, thank you." Flyndan left at a run, leaving Raoul alone with his thoughts.

It seemed impossible. Kel couldn't possibly be dead. Raoul's mind refused to accept that piece of information, throwing it back into his face again and again. He had been so close to her when she'd been hit, he could have helped her, without breaking formation. Could have repaid her for saving his life.

His thoughts then travelled to Dom, and the way he had almost left his spot to help Kel. Raoul could understand why he'd done it; he would be hard put not to try and save his friend. It didn't make the action any less irresponsible. Raoul gestured to a runner.

"Ask Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle to meet me in my office, please."

The runner bowed and hurried to carry the message. He almost collided with Flyn, walking into the room.

Flyn glared at the runner as he muttered apologies. The runner hurried from the room once more.

"The Wildmage says Keladry fell from her horse, sir," He told Raoul. "She also says that Keladry's foot was caught in the stirrups, and she told the horse to run away with the girl. Daine isn't sure where they'd gone, though."

Raoul nodded and began contemplating. "Thank you, Flyn."

A few minutes later, after Flyn had gone, Dom arrived in Raoul's office.

He saluted. "My Lord."

Raoul nodded, looking him directly in the eye. "Do you know why I called you here, Dom?"

Dom shifted uncomfortably. "Yes sir."

"The willingness to be indifferent and obey orders in a battle is what stops an army from becoming an armed mob," he chastised, not unkindly. "I'm not saying I don't understand why you tried to ride to Kel. It took all my self-restraint not to go after her myself. It doesn't make it more easily excusable, that's all."

Dom nodded again to show he understood, gratefully thinking that only Raoul could be understanding while he reprimanded. He had started apologising when Raoul interrupted him.

"I didn't call you here to criticize; Kel's missing and I need you to take a squad of your men to search for her," Raoul told Dom. "Do be careful. There might still be a few stray Scanrans out there willing to make one last kill before they die."

**)O(**


	8. From Dawn Till Dusk

**From Dawn Till Dusk**

AN: Um, hey guys. Yes, I'm alive. Yes, I haven't updated for half a year. Yes, I'm bad, and very sorry. No, I haven't abandoned this story. No, I haven't abandoned Double Dare either; I just haven't had the time. No, I haven't abandoned any of my other stories either, for that matter. Yes, this chapter doesn't seem to have much importance in the plot. No, there's nothing you can do about it except bear with me and trust the plot to unravel itself in time.

)O(

With a sigh, the brunette sat herself onto a slab of rock.

She had been walking for the better part of that day. The stirrups on the horse's back were broken, making him difficult to ride at any speed faster than a walk. In any case, the horse looked as exhausted as she felt and in no way fit to be ridden for long.

Thoughts slithered in and out of her mind, each significant in its own right but making no sense whatsoever when she tried to decipher it. Confusion was a heavy fog, clouding her judgment, her memories, and her thoughts. Each step felt slightly heavier than the last, and the world swam around her even when she felt sufficiently sober. To say it all in one word, she was lost.

There was sudden noise in the forest around her. Startled, she hid behind a tree and peered around the trunk. She saw a dozen men mounted on trotting horses, riding through a forest track barely resembling a dirt road.

She didn't know who they were. A voice yelled warnings from the back of her mind, telling her that she didn't want to be found alone by the enemy. Not knowing who 'the enemy' was but deciding to trust her instincts, the girl ducked behind another tree and hoped that the forest would conceal her. Looking at the horse, she patted it and willed it to be still. Strangely enough, it froze almost as if it had read her mind.

Her foot caught on a stone and she stumbled, disturbing a layer of dried leaves under her feet. It must have made a sound, because the leader of the men turned to look suspiciously at the trees.

The girl willed herself to be completely still, trying not to make another sound. Wild animals made noise while running through the forest all the time, and surely the men wouldn't investigate every odd sound.

Keen blue eyes searched the forest around them, barely missing the spot where the girl was huddled. Suddenly, the horse beside her caught the blue eyes and gave a loud neigh. Cursing silently, the girl dropped the horse's reins as it suddenly made a dash forward, running straight towards the riders.

"Peachblossom!" she heard one of them cry out as the horse almost ran into him. It gave a few loud neighs in response.

"Peachblossom, I'm so glad you're safe." It was the leader who spoke; he now turned to his men as if seeking reassurance that speaking to a horse, even one as smart as this appeared to be, was all right. "Listen, Peachblossom... can you tell us where Kel is?"

Suddenly, as Peachblossom – was that the horse's name? – turned towards her, the girl realized how dangerous her situation had become. Scared, she turned and ran through the forest, aware that she now had a horse and some men on her tail.

Running blindly, mindful of her injured ankle, the girl stumbled upon a rock formation that could just pass for a cave. She ran straight inside and tucked herself behind a particularly large boulder, hoping they would not see her.

"Kel?" The voice was close enough to make her jump, but she knew he hadn't found his target. She stayed very, very still.

"I think she went the other way," the man yelled back to the others. Within a few moments he was gone, leaving in his wake disturbed dirt and leaves.

Shaken, the girl emerged from her hiding place. Kel. Was that her name? If so, how did those people know it? Who was she hiding from? Why did she need to hide? And more importantly, which direction was home?

She sought out a path; in this sort of confusion, there was no choice other than to walk on.

)O(

A pair of violet eyes opened and blinked rapidly in confusion. The Lioness sat up in her bed. "How long have I been asleep?" she croaked, grabbing for a pitcher of water.

One was shoved firmly into her hand. "Less than a day. You lost a lot of blood, Alanna."

She drank hungrily. "You say it like I wanted it to happen."

"You could have retreated," Raoul retorted. "You were wounded near the end of the battle, there was plenty of room for you to back out."

Alanna narrowed her eyes instead of replying. Then, examining her friend more closely, she said, "something's wrong."

A guilty look flitted over his face, but he replied nonetheless with an unconvincing "What? Nothing's wrong."

"I would know something was wrong if I'd just met you," she said sharply. "What happened?"

Raoul sighed, but there was no point in keeping up a charade. "Keladry's missing."

She didn't look too surprised. "I could have imagined so," she replied thoughtfully. "I saw her fall off her horse. She isn't dead, though?" It unnerved her that she wasn't more emotional about what was going on, but she was too drained to feel anything; surely the shock would come once she got her sluggish brain to comprehend the situation entirely.

"If she is, her body hasn't been found," Raoul replied. "And we've been very thorough. Her horse was carrying her away the last time anyone saw, and I've sent out a team to search."

Alanna nodded. "Has anything else happened since I lost consciousness?"

"Nothing too important. There's been a review of this battle, looking after the wounded, and cleaning up the fort. Also, you knew that His Majesty was making a tour of the embattled cities?" he continued at her nod. "He's here, and before you ask he has four full squads of First Company as guards, plus two bodyguards and men I've assigned to look over his rooms."

She smiled. "I'm glad. If we're lucky, some of what we've been saying about looking after himself might have even sunk in. So His Majesty's here already? I should go and greet him."

"Actually, he's heard about your injuries and given firm orders for you to stay in bed. He'll be coming around in a while to see you."

Alanna scowled, but there was no point in arguing, especially when she knew she was too weak to get up. In any case, she was left no room to argue – a servant had entered the room and was bowing to them. At Raoul's nod, he reported that Sergeant Domitan has returned with his squad and would like a word, as soon as possible.

"Excuse me," Raoul said to Alanna and distractedly left the room, leaving a slightly worried Lioness behind.

"Did you find her?" Raoul's tension was poorly concealed.

"We searched all the surrounding forests. We found Peachblossom; he's with Daine right now, and we're hoping he could tell us something."

"He wasn't with Kel?" Raoul asked. When Dom shook his head, Raoul asked with confusion, "Did he know where Kel might have been? When did they get separated?"

Dom paused, not wanting to bring up a pointless expedition that had confused even him. "He seemed to know where Kel was, but couldn't lead us to her. I think – I can't confirm this, but I think I saw something or someone running away when Peachblossom was leading us. But why would Kel run from us?"

Raoul pursed his lips, grim. "I don't know either. Hopefully Daine will be able to tell us something. Well, you've done all you can," he said to Dom, a clear dismissal. The other man saluted and left, as worried as before.

Raoul returned to Alanna to relay the news, then went to pay a visit to the wildmage. His knock was answered immediately.

"Lord Raoul!" Daine exclaimed, moving out of the doorway so he could come inside. "I was just about to go looking for you."

"What did Peachblossom say?"

Daine's eyebrows furrowed a little closer. "He was injured in the battle, and remembers only that Tobe and I told him to carry Kel away. They ran for a few minutes before Kel's foot slipped from the stirrups. It's probably dislocated now, which means she can't have gone too far. Peachblossom says that he vaguely remembers Kel waking up and asking him who he was, then who _she_ was. He left her when he saw Dom, but she had disappeared when he came back. He's worried."

Raoul frowned. "She asked who he was? What could that possibly mean?"

"I don't know." Daine shook her head. "Could she have lost her memory, if only temporarily? She might have been hit on the head."

"It's possible, but memory loss isn't common, even for the worst injuries."

The brunette sighed. "I have no idea, to be honest. I do hope we find her soon. I'm sorry I couldn't be more help."

"You've done all you can," Raoul assured her. "And thank you. I hope we find her soon, too."

)O(

AN: I know the whole scene with Alanna seemed utterly irrelevant, but Jon plays a part in the story and I wanted to incorporate him without actually making a fuss about his presence. Bear with me, and you'll see the plot in time.


End file.
